Session 35
Fact Sheet Manners maketh Man
Players present: Ecchima, Marty, Meinhart and Vinnie. Tuur was excused and Dins was our GM.
Date: 03-01-24
Date in-universe: Tuesday afternoon & night
Major developments:
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Previously: session 34 the gang gets a GAS-boete
Up next: session 36
Notes
Following the directions of different Eladrin in the city, we arrive at a lovely little cottage in one of the more residential districts, with Elvish accents. As we knock, we discover that Sastruga isn't home.
As we peak through the windows, it's clear no one is there. He might be asleep just before dinnertime or he might be out. Ophelia helpfully reminds us that Elves don't need a lot of sleep, neither for rest nor for beauty sleep. We take a last moment to admire his home and interior decoration, which is all winter-themed with snowflakes and icicles galore. Finally, we decide to stop loitering on a random person's doorstep.
As we’re milling around on the street, we notice a little glittery light fluttering towards us! As it gets closer, it turns out to be a pixie with dark hair, a pale complexion, and moth-like wings (see Images) (while Daisy was more butterfly-themed and had a green tinge to her skin), carrying a rolled-up parchment. The scroll is almost as big as its torso!
With purpose, the pixie flies to the door of Sastruga’s cottage & knocks imperatively. Much like us, no one answers his knock. With an important rustle of its wings, it flies up to the roof and without hesitation, the pixie plunges down the chimney! Soon after, we can see the twinkling light move behind the windows, before the pixie pops out of the chimney again, this time without the scroll.
El and Storm are the first to recover from the gaping amazement we all feel at seeing this pixie breaking & entering so casually, and return without even a speck of soot on its clothes, so they’re the ones to hail the little creature:
Storm: ho friend, we were also looking for Sastruga, but we figured he wasn’t home. Did you find him inside?
The pixie (tartly): yes, I’m always in the habit of flying down people’s chimneys
Storm: is that some sort of friendship ritual you have with Sastruga?
The pixie: I’m not his friend
Storm: oh, pardon my error, I thought because you flew in with a letter…
The pixie (explaining as if we’re simple): that’s because I’m a private envoy, in service of Sastruga’s employer. Don't you mundies have that here in the mortal plane? That’s all I can tell people who have no business with Sastruga’s private affairs. It’s a point of professional pride, you see.
When the pixie indicates it’s tired and plans to seek out an inn in search of sustenance, Storm indicates we’re headed to the Iron Oar Inn. The pixie tartly sniggers we’ll be bound to laboriously lumber in the same direction then, how awkward… but undeterred, Storm offers a ride on his shoulders. Due to Aqueel’s pleading eyes, it takes a little shuffling, but eventually we set off: the crew walking & Storm with Aqueel on his shoulders and an unknown pixie perched on his head, close to Aqueel. The pixie comments that we’re a strange group, because the big people don’t usually appreciate pixies like this. After introductions are made, we take note: Poinsettia is a boy pixie who regularly carries messages, throughout the Fey Wild and between the Fey Wild and the mortal plane. We keep up a conversation:
Poinsettia: what's your business with Sastruga?
Storm: we just wanted to introduce Ophelia Summersong, celebrated vocalist! Perhaps you’ve heard of her?
Poinsettia: has she ever performed in the Fey Wild? If not, I doubt it. We rarely follow mundy art. Perhaps as your singing career prospers, you’ll cross over? I’ll be sure to attend a show in a few decades or so
El: you are-a a messenger, so could we hire you?
Poinsettia: that depends on the person to whom you want to send a message
El: what about-a the King of Storms
Poinsettia: you want me to fly dozens and dozens of miles over open water without any chance to rest in order to take a parchment under water?! Meanwhile you have this water chick and this marid kid in your company! Can’t they, I don’t know, summon a fish or something??
Storm (wincing from the infuriated shifting atop his head): well, what about a message to Cedar the satyr? He’s in the Fey Wild somewhere
Poinsettia: “in the Fey Wild somewhere”, do you hear yourself? The Fey Wild is as big as the mortal plane, just a lot cooler and more special. Are you one of those racist mundy yokels who think all fey creatures know each other??
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El wanders off to the stables to take care of Madonna. Next to her, we see a beautiful black Andalusian horse with long black flowing manes (not a whore). El recognizes it from a very unfortunate day in their life! The horse was at Saatia's funeral!
As Poinsettia flies into the inn with a nonchalant wave over his shoulder, El warns us that our good friend is back on the scene, with a glower at Ophelia: it's Simeon Ibn Seif or Simone Facouri who's parked the horse in the stables! And right next to Madonna at that! Ezra wink-wink-nudge-nudges Ophelia. They also share that Enza told them Simeon came to help with the reconstruction of Nawa.
Storm wonders why El is so obsessed with brushing Madonna... but Ezra stands on tippy-toes to hiss in his ear that it's good that El is taking care of the camel & we shouldn't question it. Nodding meekly, Storm leads Aqueel inside in search of dinner.
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Wendy tells us to go freshen up while she gets a table ready for us. As we cross the tap room, we see:
- Gladiola is seated at a different table with Chalcedony, they both look up as we pass by & nod in greeting
- We also spot Oscar, Wendy's brother the smith at a table. There's a second plate on his table opposite his table
- Poinsettia is seated on the bar, already holding an egg cup filled with spirits, because the inn doesn’t have glasses, plates or cutlery in his size. We hear him grumble about mundy accommodations being substandard, as usual
We take a second to freshen up in our room: some of us choose prestidigitation, some of us prefer a whore's bath at the sink, captain Ezra makes a point of wiping off all their brownish beige-ish makeup to let their face breathe.
We agree on a simple & quick meal: we need to be at the fish wharf before 8 p.m. because that’s when the thug is meeting up with Jacob Saree. That said, we return to the tap room, and at her invitation, we join Gladiola at her table. We chit-chat a bit about our day, the post office being open again, the reward we got, how measly it was and what’s up next: do we plan to get hired again, or will we travel on our own this time? Gladiola mentions she's met up with her father's contacts & is ready to deliver her cargo. She muses if the dwarves could let us use the underground passages through The Spine. Captain Ezra takes note of the possibility.
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Storm quietly turns to Hali: he’s noticed several small but heavy moments, which Hali has born in silence:
- Aqueel and Nasser speculated that she might be Astarion’s offspring, the slacker of the Court of Storms who’s shaming the marid family by travelling rather than founding his own kingdom somewhere
- Hali told Saylara the dryad that she was familiar with a loss as fundamental as what Lutiel suffered
- Hali empathized with Maya Ghorann & offered to return her father’s chess board, in spite of the pirate code about plunder
- Captain Io Halloran was pretty blunt about Hali’s bio parents…
Hali responds with a harrowing tale that only Storm hears:
Sobered by his friend’s pain and grateful for sharing her confidence, Storm reaches out to grab Hali’s hands with a choked off “I'm here to listen whenever you want! Just tell me if and how I can help”. Hali gets up & hugs Storm. With his fish stew all over his mouth, Aqueel squeals “group hug” and joins in.
Hali gives a hug & Aqueel joins us in the hug.
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Slurring because of his third eggcup of whiskey, Poinsettia asks for a tiny room. Wendy points him to a room of dwarfish size, which is the smallest size the Iron Oar Inn has available.
We send Aqueel to bed & agree that Ophelia will stay in the inn to babysit. Conveniently that's also an opportunity to keep an eye out for Simeon. Seeing some of us are getting ready to head out again, Gladiola asks us to take Chalcedony for a walk. As the dog is clearly smart enough to take care of itself and wait to poop somewhere discreet where we won’t have to scoop up the turds, we agree.
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As we arrive at the fish market, dusk is falling. The fish market is empty by now, and foot traffic in this area is dying down a lot. It’s easy to spot the alley earmarked for nefarious business: it’s the one without any street lanterns.
We sneak through the alleys, seeking out Jacob Saree and the bandit. Chalcedony side-eyes our antics and leaves us behind to wander over to some bushes for a sniff and a pee. El complains of the wafts of fish guts and stale rainwater & scolds Hali for having smelly farts. Hali rolls her eyes and follows our captain Ezra deeper into the alley.
When we see a compact silhouette in the dark, we figure we’ve found Jacob Saree. We take up some sneaky positions, ready to observe what happens. When El activates their mage armour, it flashes brightly (due to a NATURAL ONE in stealth), but we manage to duck away anyway.
As the hour strikes 8, we see a shadow slinking through the alley. Soon the shadow sidles up to the silhouette we deem to be Jacob Saree. We see his silhouette tense up, he’s clearly wary of the time & place they're meeting, in the dark behind a deserted market.
Jacob: I assume you haven't found the person I'm looking for, otherwise you'd come running for your reward, rather than send me a cryptic invitation to meet in such a sinister place Shadow: you have it wrong, mister, I've come for my reward
We hear several blades being unsheathed all around us & even on the roof. Jacob tries to bluff: “think twice lads, there's a whole crew who'll notice my disappearance & even one pirate who'll be eager to avenge me”. The bandits don't care: the one in the alley lunges & the others throw their daggers. The man with the moustache nimbly evades the thrown daggers, draws his sabre, and starts to tussle with the shadowy figure in front of him!
Ezra shoots at the visible bandit in the alley & hits the weaselly guy we saw on the docks. The rest of us leap out too, ready for action! The weaselly bandit screams: “it's you fucks from the docks! Poaching our robbery won’t work, get ‘em, boys”! Jacob, a 48-year-old human man without dark vision, can't recognize us & falls back quite scared. He tries to dissuade what he thinks are competing gangs: “do you think I'd come to the alley with all my money? This whole thing is pointless”!
- Storm jumps up and clambers up to the second floor of the fish market, finding 2 bandits here, about 15 feet away. With prestidigitation, Storm lights a nearby lamp & calls out there are 2 of them here! One is fully kitted out for murder, the other is an amateur, just a young sailor with a knife in his belt. At Storm's request, Bella Swan hovers over Jacob Saree, offering a measure of protection from above. Jacob swears at "this beast above" in the dim light, drawing a furious stare from Storm
- El decides to join Storm. Invoking the favour of the gods, El throws their dagger. Their black sword protests (with a NATURAL ONE and a NATURAL FOUR in the same throw) but their aim is true & one bandit is hurt. El draws their sword with a muttered "don't worry, you'll get action too". Storm stares in despair
- Ezra climbs onto the roof on the other side of the alley. There, they find a guy crouched behind a chimney in an assassin’s cloak. Ezra waves cheekily and shoots the guy twice (once with a NATURAL SIX). The guy complains about competitors trying to steal their kill, which Ezra refutes: Mr. Moustache just said he's not dumb enough to walk around with all his money!
- the guys opposite Storm and El realize they might be in danger. They attack El in tandem & one of their poison daggers slices their neck. El shrugs off the burn. When El yells out that it hurts, the murdery one grins "thank you". El snarls a hellish rebuke, but the bandit shakes most of it off! The assassin opposite Ezra draws his hand crossbow & shoots at Ezra, but misses. The weaselly guy attacking Jacob tries again, and manages to graze Jacob again
- Hali realizes that her one non-magical weapon is at the smithy... so she grabs the pan'demonium. She sets it to infernal & as the bottom heats up with a scorching heat, she rushes forward & swings at the weaselly bandit. Hali keeps going out of reach. The weaselly thug can't believe he just got attacked by a chick with a brightly shining pan!
- Jacob is bewildered by all that's happening & slashes at the leader. Alas with a NATURAL ONE it doesn't do much. He snaps at Hali: “are you here to help or clobber me to death”? Hali enunciates gracefully “Jacob, we want to help”, to which he replies “If we're on a first name basis, I'll take your help”
- Storm leaps at the murder kitten but misses. Bella Swan holds her position over Jacob Saree
- El casts cure wounds on themselves. El steps back, so the sailor boy gets an opportunity attack. El's reaction almost incinerates the kid, who's petrified of all these weird tricks. El casts an Eldrin's Blast at the murdery guy (with a NATURAL TWENTY), roasting his shoulder. They follow it up with another blast at the sailor boy, but misses
- Ezra sees the holy fire on the other side and with a sigh attacks the assassin on the roof with them, hitting him twice. Ezra shifts into their tiger form... Ezra figures these guys are opportunists, they might run away... with their fiercest grin, Ezra asks them to take their shot.
- convinced by Ezra's grin that this supposedly easy job is fast turning into a headache, the assassin on the roof starts scrambling away. The weaselly guy is too bewildered by the pan'demonium & disengages to start running. The sailor boy also makes a run for it & slinks out of the window. As he lands, he falls prone and skitters away. The murder kitten is heavily wounded and just hobbles to the stairs, also trying to get away
- Hali decides to let the weaselly guy go & turns the pan off. As she checks it's cooling down, her water genasi moisture evaporates with a hiss
- Jacob complains we're letting them escape, but he agrees that the only way to stop them appears to be killing them & we lack the witnesses to prove it was self-defence. He asks that Hali won't kill him and when she agrees, he gets out a little kerchief to wipe down his sabre with a flourish before he sheaths it again
- aided by the magic of the sandals, Storm manages to cut off the murder kitten: as the guy snarls that he can hardly go to the authorities to snitch on our magic while implicating himself in a robbery, Storm determines he’s trustworthy as far as this goes, so Storm lets him go
- El jumps after the sailor boy and grabs him with their sword to his throat. The boy cries he doesn't want to die, he just wanted the money. El pushes the kid towards our captain. The kid pees a little in fear.
- Just as Jacob blusters about paying us since vigilantes never work for free, Ezra leaps down from the roof. They’re super cool with their ripped arms, their bow, the sand snake swirling around their shoulders, their cool outfit they sewed themselves… Alas, in the dark alley where all magical light has disappeared again (now that the pan’demonium is turned off & Storm switched off the lantern again), Jacob can only see our silhouettes, so he hasn't yet recognized anyone.
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El brings over the kid.
- El hopes we can adopt the kid, he could help us sail a ship if we ever get one
- Jacob hopes that the kid will still complete the mission of finding the person he's looking for & he'll be furious against anyone who'll impede his mission with regards to his kin!
- Ezra hopes we can let the kid go if he promises not to snitch
The young sailor despairingly wails that his buddy promised this would be easy money, but now he’ll never again listen to those guys, he won’t even tell Galahad that the lead about a tiger shifter in the woods was false. Ezra figures that’s good enough, and we let the sailor boy go.
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As our medic, Hali tends to Jacob’s wounds, which calms Jacob down. She futzes around with some bandages to hide her use of cure wounds. Jacob is sad his sleeve is cut: if only there was someone who could sew... so Hali secretly uses mending. Jacob is impressed & thinks his wife could still learn something from her nimble fingers!
Jacob explains his crew will miss him, so he needs to send a message to captain Seagrass. As we step out of the alley, the light of the street lanterns falls over us & we see his expression shift into delight: “Ezra! and these people call you captain, you've managed to succeed at something after all”!
Gritting their teeth, Ezra suggests we head to the Iron Oar Inn, where we might talk in private in our room… but Jacob can’t contain his excitement & his entire story spills out:
One random day, I got a message in my head: I should urgently come to The Vale. This voice promised me I’d see you here, Ezra. After more than a decade with no visits to your dear old parents (to which Ezra interjects that their mom was quite clear about her preferences), I figured it wasn’t an opportunity I could miss, so I convinced the business contacts I was travelling with that we should take a detour here.
Can you believe it, as soon as I made landfall here in The Vale, a messenger rocked up with a letter from your pirate captain. And yes, I did just say pirate captain, we know all about what you’ve been up to, young la—young lad! The moment they fished that bloated oaf Barney Morgan out of the White Sea (see prequel), he quacked up and down the coast about what happened. We’ve kept an eye on the pirates ever since, young… man…?
Anyway, the letter explained that you’ve recently lost a lot of memories and might be labouring under a lot of misconceptions. Given all the trouble your mother got up to these past few months, I figured I couldn't stay angry with you, so here I am, ready to answer your questions & help you out any way I can. I’ll start by saying that your mother and your sisters are fine, if you still care to hear about them.
Ezra explodes that of course they still care about their family, but what were they to do? Rock up to our well-to-do family home in its fancy neighbourhood in Thalm Sashari as a wanted pirate? As a seasoned parent, Jacob expertly sidesteps the question and just replies “well, your mother will be glad to hear it. She’s changed a lot, you know, because that’s what happens when life serves you as much humble pie as your mother’s had to eat recently”.
“Look, papa”, Ezra starts, “I appreciate your effort to come here, and your efforts about my gender, even though you still got it wrong, but… must we do this”?
With this question hanging over us, we make it to the inn. In the tap room we return Chalcedony to Gladiola, how’s happily tucking into a dessert, trying to forget the road rations awaiting her as soon as she travels on. Poinsettia is nowhere to be seen & Wendy cheerfully waves at us.
Once we’re in the room, and the briefest introductions of Ophelia and a sleeping Aqueel have been made, Jacob continues:
I'm here even though our family is not in favour of the crown right now. I hope you know about that. I don’t know if you ever truly understood why we left Kharkorin to go to Thalm Sashari? You see, after the war, Kharkorin was deeply unstable: most of our powerful magic users were dead, scores and scores of our soldiers never returned from the Marred Marshes where that Lunaire envoy pulled down the heavens on our army, everything we’d invested in ships, weapons and rations was lost. Kharkorin needed a strategy to recover, so several people were sent out to live in the Hammerhead Coast. The plan was they’d be unofficial diplomats: at best, they would build relationships with the locals to temper any anti-Kharkorin sentiment, at worst, they could keep an eye out and give an early warning should a new war be brewing.
Early on, your mother showed a lot of fashionable promise, both in artisanship and in styling. The Kharkorin court figured a fashion empire would be the ideal cover to meet a lot of influential people, so with some funds and a mission, we set out to Thalm Sashari in the Traders’ Gate.
It was a perfect set-up: Aashvi in the atelier, making custom clothes and me sourcing materials and visiting our different stores, both to see how our collections are doing & to hear what the locals are saying, you know? And now that she’s been poking her nose in this Weavers’ business & was almost arrested, she came up with the idea of my disavowing her, so that I can travel freely under my own name, while looking for you.
Your mother got in contact with an old contact of hers, a Thamirian spy. He sent them to safety, under the care of some animal handlers he knows. They call themselves the Guilded Blade & they had papers for them as live cargo consisting of “tigers”. Alas, the spy was caught, and the Guilded Blade didn’t know what to do. We Sarees were left without guidance… but your friends, Ezra my… kid…, intervened! Now your mother and your sisters are sheltering with a kooky old Elvish blacksmith Gwyleth Paltrow. Did you know he lives in a secret tower hidden under a lake?! (Ezra gets out a map & asks Jacob to indicate the Lake of the Mother and Child (see Images)). It’s very tense hiding there with your tiger Saksham, but at least they’re safe, provided they don’t eat each other.
Well, I should say safe for now, because as you know, the Rosarian crown prince is stirring up anti-magic feelings, and if the protection hiding the tower collapses, they’re all in danger. However, my Aashvi refuses to move on and flee. She’s convinced someone is orchestrating this whole thing: she’s convinced the war isn’t Kharkorin’s plan, because as an agent of the state she would have heard about that. None of the allegations against Kharkorin are true, according to her.
We implore you, Ezra, my beloved offspring, to use your varied contacts, so different from ours, to get to the bottom of all these politics and manipulations.
Ezra rolls their eyes: “first I get thrown out of the house when I’m barely adult, and now suddenly your beloved offspring has contacts that you need? Maybe it’s just prince Mordecai overreacting? For 50 years his father avoided all magic after the horrors of the battle of the Bay of Beasts, and now that his father is dead, he’s a bit hysterical”?
Jacob at once responds: “listen here, youngster: your mother sent you to captain Morgan to build character, much like she was herself apprenticed to some abusive hag who taught her how to sew. I convinced her you were better suited to an outdoor life, like me, rather than a life seated behind a sewing table, like her”.
Ezra is hugely affronted: they can sew perfectly well! Jacob snorts: “is that why you let your pretty water genasi friend fix my sleeve”?
With a thunderous scowl, Ezra stands up, points at the door & orders Jacob out, out I say! “And give me that coat, it’s so last season that you’re an embarrassment to the Saree name”!
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As they step outside, out of sight and out of earshot of the crew, Storm starts another conversation, middle-aged man to middle-aged dad:
Jacob Saree promises to look into it as soon as he’s back on his ship.
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As soon as Jacob is out of sight, Storm heads back inside. After a quick look around the tap room, he confirms the others are upstairs, so he feels free to ask Wendy for some paper. He’s planning to use druidcraft to make fake messaging paper. After a few tries on a quiet corner, it seems like it works to make the paper look inscribed with the golden runes, for an hour at least.
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In our room, Ezra has started cleaning & reworking the coat. They refuse to rest before they have a clear idea on what to do… and thanks to a DIRTY TWENTY, they make something beautiful!
As Storm returns, Ophelia mentions she saw neither Simeon nor Simone. Aqueel is already asleep.
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The next morning, Storm and Hali are the first to rise. Storm works through a routine of stretches and ballet moves while Hali quietly contemplates the sunrise. They greet each other in the tap room to have breakfast together.
In the corridor, they both see a tan woman with hazel eyes with a veil loosely covering her hair: it's Reva! With a smirk, she thanks us for clearing the road. Ominously, she adds: “no worries, my blade is sated & I got my pound of flesh”.
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In the room, El wakes up & puts on Lunaire’s mask. They don’t notice anything particular.
Storyline
Previously: session 34 the gang gets a GAS-boete
Up next: session 36
